There is nothing more rewarding than waking on a Saturday morning to your hysterical wife demanding you immediately go and repair your neighbour’s fence. It then unravels that your Friday night went like this:
1. You inform your peeved wife you are immediately going down the pub
2. You drink 9 pints, 4 doubles and 5 shots in a little under 2 hours and invite your mates round for a wrestling tournament in your neighbours garden
3. You grab your skinny mate and swing him around like a plane slamming him into your neighbours fence
4. The fence collapses and your enraged neighbour runs out to find your friend writhing around screaming in his garden whilst your wife is screaming at you for being naked and making too much noise
As you're sat there like a movie star with beer in hand sellotaping your neighbour’s fence together you cannot help but notice the tall and fragrant Lupin gazing at you across the garden. Worried it may ruin your concentration you attempt not to make eye contact with the majestic Lupin whilst trying to persuade your feeble mind it’s none other than the fabled mythological creature ‘Medusa’. However, your efforts are futile and you cannot resist but stare at its beauty, and as your bellowing wife questions why after 3 hours you have still not re-erected your juvenile neighbours fence you can simply shut her mouth by chirpily confirming it’s not your fault ‘Medusa’ temporarily turned you to stone.
This gorgeous bloom will add depth and definition to any well groomed flower bed and thrives in plenty of sun. It prefers a well-drained soil, will flourish with plenty of water and being a perennial it will come back year after year to improve your futile little existence. Due to their ability to grow quite tall, commonly around 3 feet, it's been known for Lupin’s to suffer from wilting, so ensure you support them with a bamboo cain or stick if they show signs of drooping.
The beans which grow from this colourful hybrid are traditionally consumed as an accompaniment to Beer in Spain and Portugal, to name but a few countries. However, if you have fooled yourself into believing you have a peanut allergy it's strongly advised not to yank this breath-taking flower from the ground and eat it like a corn-on-the-cob as attention-seeking hypochondriacs (nut allergy sufferers) believe in their silly little brain that the beans from this splendid flower can cause a reaction.
Next time your furious neighbour arrives home to find you with a fishing rod in your hand plucking his favourite Koi from his pond, why not diffuse the situation by happily asking him if he likes his fish smoked. As he runs like a chubby 6 year old to grab his prized Koi why not grab another rod, cast your reel at his backside and proceed in giving him the biggest wedgie ever.
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