As you grow up and develop into an adult you will quickly learn that Foxgloves are a pivotal part of a loved and cherished English garden. The spellbinding Foxglove is an awe-inspiring flower and will proudly take centre podium of any well groomed rockery. Foxgloves blossom early June to late July, like partial shade and need plenty of water. It is strongly advised to position the vivid and translucent Foxglove in full view of unwanted visitors, such as your immediate family, so whilst benefiting from its aroma they will be left with a disturbing tang in their useless mouth. When they question the taste you merely need to tell them they have consumed a Foxglove seed and suggest they move their silly little legs in the direction of a General Practitioner or a Priest.
It’s likely they will laugh at you and suggest you are winding them up, which will lead you to letting out a jolly snigger and explaining that the presence of Cardiac Glycoside Digitoxin in the seeds and leaves of this dazzling, must have flower are all poisonous to humans and animals. If they have a look of confusion on their face you simply need to highlight this as a symptom of Foxglove poisoning and urge them to leave your property before you have a fatality on your hands. Other symptoms of Fox glove poisoning include delirium, disorientation, nausea, a low pulse rate, vomiting and uncoordinated contractions of different parts of the heart leading to cardiac arrest and finally death. If you are unfortunate enough to have mindless loons as friends and family you may want to follow my lead and plant 100 Foxglove’s in your front garden whilst ensuring they read this blog.
Not to be confused with a corn-on-a-cob you should refrain from horseplay in close proximity to this must have flower, and if ever in the middle of a vicious row with jealous neighbours over them catching you stealing underwear from their washing line you could always pluck a Foxglove from the ground and use it as a javelin launching it towards their juvenile face.
Next time you are alone in your garden, smashed on Blue Curacao and acting out the closing scene of Dirty Dancing with a Foxglove you may want to make amends with your neighbour, give back their underwear and ask them to whizz you to the local A&E.
You may want to keep the following link as a favourite in case you ever happen to eat or get body-slammed into a Foxglove and want a quick prognosis.
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